I've Learned So Much

Mom and Dad have taught me a lot.
"To thine own self be true?" Check.
There are three keys to financial success: save, own, invest? Check.
Always cut away from yourself? Uh...not quite.

I return from college and have my first sit-down dinner with my family in some time. I'm telling them about the A's I got in Religion and my Internship Class, and our efforts to start a campus rescue squad. I fill them in on exciting calls I've run, and my efforts to find a job.

Meanwhile, I'm trying to slice the skin off a kiwi because my traditional use-a-spoon-to-scoop-it-out method that I learned in Australia is failing. Kiwi wasn't ripe enough or something, so I grab the steak knife.
Slice, slice, slice...
Oh damn!

Mom and Dad look over at me and see me wincing as I apply pressure to the cut.

"Did you just cut yourself with that really sharp knife," Dad asks with a cocked eyebrow.
"Didn't you ever learn not to cut towards yourself," Mom inquires.
"You were a Girl Scout!"

Now I'm wrapping a napkin around my finger as I continue slicing the infernal kiwi.

"Do we need to rush you to the ED?" Dad is obviously kidding as he watches me struggle.
"Well, if I were any of a number of my patients, the answer would be yes."

So after 19 years of life, 14 years of school (having managed to graduate and finish half of college already), entrance into the National Honors Society, and more...I still haven't learned how to cut my own food. My parents must be so proud.

In other news, my dad of all people turned me on to twitter. I'm already addicted! If you twitter, you can follow me here...and if you don't twitter, you should! My twitter now shows up in my sidebar, so it'll be plaguing you one way or the other!



Scott said...

Do you eat avocadoes? You might want to watch your cutting technique with those bad boys, too. Because they can make for some bloody guacamole!

Evil Lunch Lady said...

Ouch! Hope you heal fast:) Lesson learned and all that:) Glad to hear you had a nice dinner before your boo-boo:)

Bernice said...

Doh! Sounds like something I would do. Good thing none of my knives are sharp enough to cut my skin, just leave a nasty bruise.

Fyremandoug said...

That which does not kill you makes you stronger/smarter. and for cut that look like they might need stiches try a little Cyanoacrylate
(super glue) it works.

Medic3 said...

Copyrighted image and all (copyright Gary Larson) but since I didn't scan it, I'll just direct you there.

Yeah, it's relevant to your post. I love the Far Side humor.

a day in the life said...

The thing that I find the most awesome about this post is that I can see your parents saying that.

Like, I can see their faces and everything.

Epijunky said...

Oh Sam.

Honey... I've said it before and I'll say it again. You're a sister from another Mother.

I'd totally do the same thing.

EE said...

Haha, your dad rocks.