Also, my campus has decided that it is time for us residential students to be
Okay, I'm done with my nerdy little rant. Case in point, until the
In any event, I bring you some recent happenings from the ER.
Me: "Hello, sir, my name is Sam, I've come to get some blood from you for labwork."
Man (veritably covered in tattoos and piercings): "Oh, hi. This isn't going to hurt, is it?"
Me (kidding with him): "Maybe a little, but you look like an old pro!"
Me (after setting up and finding a beautiful vein): "Alright, quick pinch."
Man: "OH GOD, THAT HURTS SO MUCH! OH I THINK I'M GOING TO PASS OUT!"
Me (removing needle): "All done."
Man: "That wasn't so bad."
Man: "Oh, hell, you've come to get blood from me, huh?"
Me: "Yes, sir, but it won't hurt nearly as bad as that IV they started in the ambulance did."
Man: "This? Naw, this didn't hurt."
Me: "Well good, then!"
Man: "Alright, do whatcha gotta do."
Me: "Little pinch."
Man: "OH, SHIT!"
ED Tech I love: "Watch your language, there's a lady present."
Man: "I don't give a SHIT! Oh shit oh shit that hurts that hurts."
Me: "All done."
Man: "About friggin time."
ED Tech I love: *eyes man angrily*
Me: "Hi, ma'am? My name is Sam, I'm here to start an IV on you."
Lady (about 85, tiny as can be, little spider-like veins): "Okay, sweetheart, you just do whatever you need to do."
Me: "Now, since they want to take you back to CT and put some contrast in your veins, I have to start an 18 gauge IV in the crook of your arm. It's a little bit bigger than the one I'd like to start, but they really need it to be that big for the contrast."
Lady (smiling happily): "No problem. I understand."
Me: *selects biggest of the tiny veins*
Lady: "I have really small veins, I'm so sorry."
Me: "Don't even worry about it, I can get one right here."
Lady (after I stick her): "Oh, you're so good! I barely felt that at all."
Me: "Good, after the people I've stuck today, I was beginning to think it was me."
Repeat that last scenario with a little 8 year old boy.
Tell me, what is up with manly men wimping out with teeny tiny needles. I draw blood with a 22, usually. If they're crying about it, or have small veins, I'll use a 23 (butterfly). I mean, really, people. After that 12ga in your ear that you worked to stretch, my 22 should be no big shake.
Me: "Hello, my name is Sam I'm here to get some blood from you."
Lady: "Oh, Sam, what a beautiful name. You have beautiful skin. You're just so beautiful!"
Me: *blushes* "Oh, well thank you very much, you just made my day."
Lady: "I used to do what you're doing. It's fun for a while, but don't do it for life."
Me: "Oh, I don't plan to."
Lady: "Good." *stage whisper* "Get out while you still can! Go...be a model or something!"
Me: *laughs* "I have something a little more exciting planned."
Me: "Finish school, get my master's in Emergency Management, become a firefighter and a paramedic, do that for a while, bridge to RN, become a flight nurse, and eventually try to fix what's wrong with EMS."
Lady: "Can I come with?"
Me (with a paramedic student in tow): "Hi, ma'am, how are you doing today?"
Lady: "Just fine, thanks."
Me: "Great! I'm Sam, I'm from the lab, and this is Barnaby" (side note: his real name is quite ridiculous, so he gets a ridiculous name for the blog) "who is a paramedic student here."
Lady: "Very nice. Are you two married?"
Barnaby: *turns red, tries to hold in laughter*
Lady: "You two just look so perfect together! Are you dating?"
Lady: "Well, you should be. Barnaby, you should really get your priorities straight. You need to ask her out before you lose a good one."
Barnaby: "Will do, ma'am."
Lady: "And you, missy. You need to make sure that you don't marry a bad one. You're too pretty to marry a bad one. You should marry Barnaby."
Me: "I'll keep that in mind. Now, let me see this arm."
Working in the ER has certainly been an experience. From gunshot wounds to stubbed toes, STEMIS to pimples, I've seen a lot in the month I've been there. I've been grabbed to hold chest tubes during insertion, do compressions, and assist in foleys. I've also cleaned up vomit, blood, and done bed-changes. I've done a lot, and it's only been a few weeks! I really can't wait to see what is going to happen the longer I stay.
I have another post in the back of my mind, but it's kind of tragic as well. I'll keep working on it, and when I have internet, I'll post it. Also, I'm going to be working on a writing project with my favorite blogger and another with a good local friend.
Take care out there,