Jason Pt. 2

At 5:30, I'm done with my hair and make-up, and I'm staring anxiously at the clock. Each passing second reminds me how far away 6:00 seems. I start tapping my foot along with the steady pattern being drilled into my head by the clock. At 5:50, the clock is taunting me, daring me to wonder if I'm being stood up. I start daydreaming about the rumors that would fly if Jason were to stand me up for our first date--the one I'm not even sure is a date. I imagine myself standing on the street corner in a cliché black and white movie. My hair is blowing seductively in the wind, and I'm holding a handkerchief to my eyes, weeping under the dim glow cast on me by a street lamp. Soft music plays as my skirt flows in the breeze and I sob gently into my...
"How to Save a Life" starts blaring out of my cell phone, jarring me back into reality. It's 6:10, and I see Jason's number blinking up at me.
"I'm here."
"Alright, I'll be right down."
Okay, that was weird. I walk down to meet him, and he's leaning against his car, picking at his nails.
"Where do you want to eat?"
"Anywhere is fine."
"Women and their decision making skills," he winks at me and motions for me to get in the car. He seems different. He's no longer the jovial, flirtatious Jason I met at the squad. I tell myself that he's just having an off day.
He drives a whole fifty feet to the Subway across the street, and we have a brief meal. I feel awkwardly overdressed the whole time, wishing I had opted for jeans and a shirt like he did. I wonder if he picked those out to look intentionally laid back, or if he didn't think to wear anything else. Our conversation is sporadic to say the least. He asks me questions about my involvement in the rescue squad, and then falls silent. Great, this date is just phenomenal.
During the meal, it comes up that he has a suspended license. I ask him how he managed to get here, and he replies with, "I drove," as if that is supposed to explain it all. I try to figure out if he drove because he wanted to see me so badly, or if he didn't care about the law. Either way, I'm not too impressed.
The date ends less than satisfactorily with him kissing me awkwardly against his car, and he's back to Clearview for the night. I go back to my business, and the black and white movie star Sam throws her hands up in the air. This date was not worthy of a cliché movie daydream.
Time passes, and Jason and I go on a few more dates. Each one ends differently. On the second, he's kissing me goodbye, letting his hand fall lower down my back, and by the third he's trying to cop a feel. I awkwardly avoid his advances in the parking lot, and tell myself it was an accident--he's not overzealous, no!
We talk more, and I even bring up the idea of dating, to which he replies "It's a possibility." Boy, how reassuring. It becomes blatantly clear that he's told Drew (and probably other Clearview members) lies about the things that have happened between us. I am not happy, but I try and pretend that Drew is just telling me those things because he's jealous. I'm trying so desperately to push the advice he and Matt gave me about Jason out of my head.
One day I text him from my phone to see if he wants to hang out. He tells me he does, but that he has a "dilemma." Oh, must be a scheduling conflict, some prior commitment for sure.
"I'm sorta talking to someone else."
My jaw falls open, and I feel a burning in my cheeks. I'm trying not to cry, wanting to hear everything he has to say.
He goes on to tell me how despite this girl he's "talking to," he still wants to "have fun," with me. Fat freaking chance, bud. I text back and forth with him, saying how I refuse to be the proverbial "other woman," and how I won't help him hurt this other girl (the way he's hurt me).
"Let me know when you're single," I finally type, and quickly turn off my phone. I try so hard not to be hurt, but I keep hearing what Drew and Matt said echoing in my mind. I'm so angry at him, and I'm so angry at myself for not listening to my friends, who obviously knew what they were talking about.
I quickly tell Drew and Matt of the recent developments, and I'm so grateful that they don't assume the "we told you so," position. They're very supportive, and simply remind me that next time they take a position on a guy, I had better listen to them.
So I crashed and burned that time. I obviously learned my lesson.

[[After some thought, I've decided to put this post (and part 1) back up effective 4/2/2008. I'm not quite sure why, but I've just decided to do it. So it was gone for a while, and now it's not.]]

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