Bumper Stickers

To the driver and his passengers on the interstate who drove up next to me, shouted obscenities to me through the window, and proceeded to pass me while flicking me off:

You are intelligent. You tailed me for a good twenty minutes, obviously reading my bumper stickers. Okay, you don't agree with my opinions; that's fine--it's what makes this country great.

But while poring over my visual expression of my beliefs, you had to come across two things. One was my license plate that clearly states that I am a member of a Virginia Rescue Squad. The second was a magnetic ribbon asking you to support the Virginia Association of Volunteer Rescue Squads.

If while speeding off past me, fingers extended out the window, you had hit the car in front of you (which, I might add, you almost did), I would have stopped to help your stupid ass. Do you know why? Because I am a good person. Because I am a person who believes that people are inherently good, and even though I deal with assholes like you even when I'm not on the clock, I refuse to allow myself to become jaded.

So to you, dear sirs, I say this: be careful next time. I know lots of EMTs, firefighters and paramedics. And I know that if you pulled that same stunt with them that you did with me, not all of them would have stopped to make sure that you were still breathing.

Yours most truly,

p.s.--I'd like to add that my bumper stickers aren't even that radical. They don't say anything like "I'M GOING TO KILL MY UNBORN FETUS!" or "JESUS HATES GAYS!" They don't touch on the war in Iraq, gun control, abortion, the president, or any of those hot-topics. They're mainly cute, humorous expressions of my thoughts (many of which I'm sure the occupants of that car didn't quite grasp). Goodness.


tracy said...

Excellent post, Sam. Someone has to ask, even though you probably can't tell us (privacy, all that)...what d o your stickers say...a hint???
Glad you are out there, even watching out for jerks like them...!
Best, tracy

Epijunky said...

Sam, you are a much better person than I am. Seriously.

Scott said...

Hmmm . . . That is crazy. First, that stickers would piss people off so badly. Second--you are hot. These were men? Most straight men will smile and nod at what a pretty woman is saying no matter how crazy it is. (Not that I imagine your stickers are all that crazy.)

Yes, I would stop, too. Injury, illness, the hospital bed, and the grave tend to be great equalizers. Rich, poor, good, evil--everybody gets scared when they are lying in that bed. And everybody dies from the CEO to the man he fired who now lives on the street.

I love some of my bumper stickers: "Native Texan" (and yes, I live in Wyoming), "Survival of the Fittest" (Jesus whupping up on Darwinian evolution), one that simply says "Gangsta Nerd," and a yellow ribbon that looks like one of the support the troops one, which is a fine cause, but in tiny letters it says "Osteosarcoma Awareness." I should just get a breast cancer one because breast cancer is like a billion times more common than osteosarcoma!

Maggie May said...

Excellent post. There are some crazy drivers here too!