9.21.2008

Ben

I promise I won't embarrass you, Ben, honestly. Oh, by the way, I've named you "Ben." I know you're reading this, which is...why I'm writing this. So everyone else who's reading it...just go along with my giddy stupidity for a while?

There are very few words, or strings of words, that can compel me to make some sort of involuntary noise. "There's been an accident," is an example. I will almost always gasp, cover my mouth, or say something intelligible.

"We need to talk," is another string of words that makes me sigh or groan. I dread unexpected, awful things like these.

So when you looked at me in the dark, and knitted your brow, pursing your lips, I expected the worst.

"Hey Sam?" Your tone was puzzled, anxious, and it scared me.
"This isn't going to work", or maybe the overused "We need to talk," is what I expected. I don't know why. Maybe I'm just gun shy, after hearing bad things come after that anxious tone.

That's why I bit my lip tentatively before answering you with a simple, "hmmph?"

But then you surprised me. After taking me out to the beach, walking for hours with me in the cold wind, and treating me to dinner, I thought you couldn't get much better. No one does those things anymore, do they? Opening car doors, walking between me and the curb; you do it all. I was surprised, flattered, and impressed.

"Too good to be true," comes to mind. I'm glad it's wrong, though. Ben, it's so wrong.

So when you took my hand and I could feel your radial pulse beating wildly in my arm, I was scared. Why would you hold my hand when you were about to tell me that you were seeing someone else and it was getting serious, or that you just didn't feel for me what you thought you did? I was prepared for it, though. It wouldn't be the first time I had heard it.

But what you said shocked me. I couldn't really speak. All I could do was make that involuntary noise, a little squeak in the back of my throat. I managed to force out the words "of course," before squeaking again.

It was dorky, adorable, heart-warming, and perfect, the way you asked me if I'd be your girlfriend. I wouldn't have it any other way; you know that.

Thank you, Ben, for showing me that they aren't all the same, or maybe that you're just different. Perhaps both. Regardless, I couldn't be happier to be your girlfriend. ...Officially.



And, uh, sorry if I'm embarrassing. It's what I do.

10 comments:

EE said...

:)

asthepumpturns said...

Can I say "goo" without sounding too much like a girl?! Congrats, girl!

Epijunky said...

YAY :)

I love him. Obviously.

Anniforscia said...

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!!!
<3

Evil Transport Lady said...

You had me nervous there! Way to go Sam!!!! Now can we see this guy???? Who IS this man who swept you off your feet???

Bernice said...

:) How very exciting!

MedicThree said...

awwww.... Now I have to go buy something manly to gain back what you have stolen!

Chapati said...

yayaya :o)

Anonymous said...

I know who he is ha ha ha. I am soo glad that its working out for you hun. I might accept some responsibility now hee hee

Chris...

Sam's mom said...

He's a luck guy. I'm glad you're so happy! :)