Sometimes I Guess They Do Live

"Swear to God, she's in this tiny little back room, situated on this hospital bed," he continues.
"Isn't that always the case," I ponder, drinking some more pepsi.
"So we go back there, and she's like 'Oh, I don't feel so good,' and we're talking and whatever, and then swear to god, she just...like...dies."
"Well shit," Eric pipes up.
"Yeah. So I'm like dragging her out by her arms and trying to put the backboard behind her somewhere, and she's just doing crazy things on the monitor, y'know?"
"Ooo, what kinds of crazy things!?"
"Things I've never seen before in the field."
"Nice," I exclaim, "go on."
"So I'm doing CPR and while I compress, I'm perfusing her obviously, and she sort of grabs the stretcher and moves and stuff. It's weird. I've never had that happen."
"Happened to me once, but nothing significant," I say.
"Well she was straight up moving and her eyes were fluttering. So anyway, we get her in the back of the medic, and I've already called for Tom to meet us on scene. Well he shows up, and she's AWAKE," he almost yells.
"Wait, what?"
"Yes! Woman is straight up alive. I ask her what hurt, and she says 'nothing, if you'd stop pushing on my chest.'"
"Holy jesus!"
"I know, right? So Tom like...doesn't believe me that she was just in arrest. I ask him to ride it in with me because I'm afraid something's going to happen again, y'know?"
"Right, so did he?"
"Yeah! And sho'nuff, ol' girl goes back into arrest, and Tom is like 'shit!' Yeah, I told you man, she was in arrest. So when I compress, same thing happens. It's surreal. And we get her there, and she's alive again, and in the hospital's hands."
"That's some crazy, crazy stuff there."
"You wanna know what's craziest?"
"Um, sure."
"A few weeks later, I find out that not only did she survive to walk out of the hospital, but I'm EMS provider of the year."
"Whoa, nice job!"
"I'm like...it's not me, it's her and her weird heart stuff."

Eric and I giggle and snap off a little salute.
"To Paramedic Hall," he starts, "the greatest provider in all the lannnnd!"
I try not to choke on my drink as we get some random debris chucked at us.

"You're just mad it's not you!"
"Oh no, no, sir, we could never take that honor away from you, the greatest provider in all the lannnd," I say, echoing Eric.
"Well anyway, like I said, it's not me, it was her. Sometimes I guess they do live."


Medix311 said...

I always love reading your anecdotes. Always puts a little smile on my face.

Philip said...

The style of your introduction reminds me John Updike's A & P. I haven't given much thought to why, but the association was strong enough that I googled only barely coherent phrases until the Internet informed that it was, in fact, Updike's A & P the intro had conjured to mind.

Evil Transport Lady said...

Wow amazing! Sometimes it just isn't their time to die.

And your delivery was superb!

Lucian said...

That was an JAWSOME story!

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