This is something I started working on during orientation today. I'm not exactly sure where I'm going with it, but please let me know if you like it and if I should develop it further?

Her originality was store bought. She was one of those women who wore styles straight off the mannequins, hanging them accordingly in her closet. Her body didn't look particularly good in any of it, but she didn't have the time to shop for her shape.

She had big southern hair. When she moved, it didn't, and that telltale smell of hairspray became part of her signature scent. A Walmart version of Chanel No.5 with an overwhelming top note of AquaNet--a southern staple.

Her cheekbones were highlighted intensely by makeup every day so she didn't have to smile so hard every day. It was a trick she learned years ago in an effort to save her skin from the wrinkles that threatened her every day. She thought it made her stand out, but really, all it did was make her blend in with the rest of the once southern belles at the office.

She tried to be different. She didn't listen to country or Christian rock, gossip about her colleagues or even go to church. She didn't have children, but she knew that if she did, she wouldn't push them to be in pageants or to be the most popular. She was prom queen, but she thinks it was because of pity, not of merit.

But she did things that were all too normal. She drank sweet tea, talked in a thick Carolina accent, called people "sugar," or "honey," and could never help herself from the cakes and treats in the break room.

Try as she might, she couldn't be who she wanted. She wanted to be Janice the singer, Janice the woman everyone came to, Janice the beauty that men couldn't resist. But she wasn't. She was Janice from corporate who went home at five in the afternoon to an empty house. She was Janice the nobody, except to her cat who depended on her for life. She figured that was something at least.

This part of the story is the worst and kind of depresses me. It gets happier, I promise, but for now I can't write any more of it. What do you think? Is it intriguing, boring, interesting, write-off-able? Please let me know!



Epijunky said...

I absolutely LOVE it.

Keep writing. Seriously.

Chris said...

Ditto to what Epi said - I want to see where its going.

How're you getting on?

Anonymous said...

Its intriguing, I'd like to read more!

Anonymous said...

p.s. hope you're feeling all better!

Evil Lunch Lady said...

Very good, when I get bummed that the story ended, then I know it's good:)

Write On!

Beaker said...

More please!

Bernice said...

I'm hooked... I need more!

tracy said...

P l e a s e continue, it's great! Somehow it reminds me of that Beatles song, "All the Lonely People"...sad.

"I s i m p l y must know what becomes of our poor Janice...".

Anonymous said...

Well Samantha Evelyn, honestly, I hope that you will develop it a little more...as of this point, I am not all that much interested...it has potential, but boring right now. Knowing you though, when you have some free time, and you are feeling better, you will make it better...I just know. Later.